Emma's Story
If she hadn't asked 'Are you sure?', my son may never have come home
“I was 14 when my son Ryan was born. When he went into care three years later, I was living with my nan. The department decided he should stay there too, but then told me I had to move out.
Suddenly I went from having a home to being marked as homeless on all my paperwork. I couldn't believe it. My nan and pop were trying to look after Ryan while also wanting to support me, but they were put in an impossible position. They were told to watch me if I was in the house because DCJ didn’t trust me being around Ryan.
It tore our family apart. They were struggling with the choice between helping their granddaughter or their great-grandson. I felt horrible for putting them in that situation, but I desperately needed support. I was going through the worst time of my life, and suddenly I'd lost my home and my main source of help.
I was really honest with DCJ. I never lied. I said I'm an addict and I've just got a lot going on and I don't know how to be a mum right now. I can't be a mum right now. I was so honest and they just gave me the flick and that was it. They did one meeting with me in the office and they never met with me again.
I remember being at court when I saw that little box ticked to say that restoration was not going to happen. Seeing those words 'final orders' kind of set it off for me. It said he wasn't coming home. But not only that, my caseworker at the time was also saying, 'Your child is never coming home until he's 18 years old. He will stay a child in the out of home care system. There is no chance.'
So for five years, I wasn't trying, because I thought he was never coming home. For five years we lost a relationship that we could have been growing. My son didn't have a mother.
Five years later, I had a new caseworker. She was the most amazing caseworker. She visited me early on and brought paperwork for me to sign which would mean another family would have full guardianship of Ryan.
Just before I signed, she asked me, 'Are you sure you want to do this?' I told her it was the only option. She said it wasn't. She asked me if I was sober, which I now was. She said, 'Don't sign it.' She told me I could apply for a Section 90 restoration and they would support me. So that's what I did.
If she hadn't asked 'Are you sure?', my son may never have come home.
- Emma, a parent with a child who was in foster care (both names changed to protect privacy).