Julies's Story

 A joke that only they understood. You can't capture that in a case note.

“I'd been working with Chris for almost two years and in that whole time, nobody knew where his Mum was. So I spent six months just trying to track her down. Six months. And when I finally got her number and called her, she was like, 'Who is this woman and why is she ringing me?'

I kept calling. I explained that I wasn't DCJ, that I just knew her son and thought he was a wonderful kid, and that I wanted to get to know her because I wanted to understand which parts of Chris came from her.

It took some time to build up trust but we got there in the end. I just tried to be human with her. I used a bit of humour to connect with her.

When we finally organised for them to see each other, they were both so nervous. I asked Chris what he wanted to do and he said, 'Can we just get fish and chips and go to the park?' So that's what we did. I suggested that he also bring his dog with him. He was surprised that this was allowed but was eager to have his dog come along.

I decided I wasn't going to write up traditional case notes. Instead, I took photos. And those photos told the story so much better than anything I could have typed into a document. The two of them laughing together. Shared glances. A joke that only they understood. You can't capture that in a case note.

I put the photos into a journal for Chris.

His Mum has a lot of things she struggles with, so the times when she's doing well are precious. I don't take them for granted.

When Chris and I are together and she's not around, I'll say things like, 'Your Mum would love that show,' or 'You know you and your Mum have the same curly hair.' The relationship doesn't stop existing just because they're not in the same room. Part of my job is to keep the relationship alive in between visits.

Working with Chris, I knew how emotionally intelligent he was. Seeing them together, I got to see that he got his emotional intelligence from her. The way he read her, the way he cared. And I remember thinking, I'm not surprised. Look where he got it from.”

Julie’s story – a clinician with almost 20 years experience (name changed to protect privacy).  

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