The panel included:
- Beck Rayfield and Chloe Hudson, peer support workers at Family Inclusion Strategies with lived experience as parents of children in the care system.
- Emily Hikaiti, a young person advocate with lived experience as a child in the care system.
- Jess Hardiman, a relational care advocate and former out-of-home care caseworker.
The webinar was facilitated by Sophi Bruce, Centre for Relational Care CEO and Lyn Stoker, Manager at Family Inclusion Strategies in the Hunter.
We are deeply grateful to our panel members with lived experience for their willingness to share their experiences and insights with us. This webinar's strength lies in being guided by those who have lived these realities firsthand. Their voices remind us that behind every policy, procedure, and practice are real people with real stories. The wisdom that comes from lived experience cannot be replicated in textbooks or training manuals. It can only be shared through the generosity of those who choose to transform their experiences into opportunities for systemic change. We thank them for their leadership in this important conversation.
Here is a summary of ideas discussed by the panel:
The power of peer support and relational care
Peer support is grounded in lived experience. People who have navigated the system understand its impact in ways that textbooks and case studies can’t capture. Connecting with other parents who have shared similar experiences is truly relational care. It creates authentic understanding and support networks that professional services often fail to offer. It helps parents feel more supported and less judged. When parents understand what's happening and why, it builds trust, which is the foundation for better outcomes for children.
The impact of language on relationships
Language fundamentally shapes how people see themselves and their relationships with others. When young people are referred to as "cases," both they and their caseworkers begin to see the relationship as transactional rather than human. Young people start to see themselves as problems to be managed rather than people deserving of care and support.
Terms like "case" and "caseworker" create distance between workers, young people, families and carers. This dehumanising language affects both parties - workers see their role as managing cases rather than supporting humans, while young people and families feel reduced to files and numbers.
The confusion and finality of professional language
Professional language often confuses rather than clarifies. Terms like "final orders" suggest permanence, when court orders can in fact change. This misleading language creates unnecessary fear and hopelessness for families who don't understand their true situation.
Confusing or overly technical language prevents families from fully participating in decisions about their own lives. When people don't understand what's happening to them, they can't advocate effectively for themselves or their children. System language compounds this confusion through terms like "substantiated" which isn't common language and can be misunderstood, further reinforcing the power imbalance. If language needs to be explained, then the language needs to change.
Language as a tool of power
The language used in child protection reinforces existing power imbalances. Confusing terminology keeps families dependent on professionals to interpret their own situations. Dehumanising language maintains the system's control by positioning families as passive recipients rather than active participants.
This power dynamic is strengthened when families are expected to navigate complex legal and professional language without adequate explanation or support. The system's language becomes a barrier to genuine partnership and shared decision-making.
Values and beliefs embedded in language
The labels and language used reveal the values and beliefs of those in power. When workers see families through deficit-focused labels, those labels become self-fulfilling prophecies. Families begin to internalise these negative perceptions, affecting their self-worth and relationships.
Language is not neutral - it reflects whether we see families as problems to be managed or as people to be supported. Professional language often reflects bureaucratic values rather than human values, creating distance rather than connection.
Workers need to reflect on their personal biases and examine how their language choices reflect their underlying beliefs about families. This self-reflection is essential for creating genuine relationships and moving beyond harmful assumptions.
Cultural considerations and systemic racism
The impact of language is compounded for Aboriginal families, who face additional systemic barriers within child protection. Aboriginal families are more disadvantaged, less likely to receive fair treatment, and face worse outcomes including reduced access to restoration and time with caseworkers.
Terms like "intergenerational trauma" are often used to justify keeping children away from families rather than addressing root causes. Cultural plans are frequently delayed or overlooked entirely, while systemic language further excludes First Nations families from meaningful participation in decisions about their children.
The system's language and practices reflect deeper racial bias, where Aboriginal families must navigate additional barriers and higher expectations than other families.
Call to action: what you can do today
The webinar concluded with practical steps that anyone working in or with the child protection system can take immediately:
- Be curious about language. Question the words you use and how they apply to different families. Consider whether your language builds connection or creates distance.
- Reflect on your biases. Examine your assumptions about families and bring your values into your work in ways that reflect humanity, not just rules and procedures.
- Treat everyone as human beings. Move beyond seeing families as cases or problems to be managed. Recognise their strengths, resilience, and humanity. Work towards a system where families are supported to stay together rather than falling through the cracks.
- Work with families, not against them. Acknowledge the power imbalance and actively work to create genuine partnerships with parents and young people.
- Recognise lived experience as leadership. Value the insights and expertise of people who have navigated the system themselves.
- Ensure understanding. Make sure parents and young people understand the language being used and that it's meaningful to them. Replace jargon with clear, respectful communication.
- Work empathetically and authentically. Bring your whole self to your work while maintaining professional boundaries. Let your humanity show through your practice.
The webinar's central message was clear: language matters because relationships matter. By changing how we speak about and to families, we are actively taking part in transforming a child protection system that works against families to one that genuinely supports and advocates for them.
At the Centre for Relational Care, we see families and communities not as problems to fix but as the living system itself - the networks through which children grow, heal and thrive. When we shift our language and practice to work with families, we strengthen the natural systems of care already holding children.
Below we share some highlights from the webinar. The full webinar included deeply personal stories, so we've carefully selected excerpts that focus on practical, actionable change anyone can implement.